Segregate men and women during family visits

 

People are naturally gregarious and sociable; they need friends, and friendships entail visiting one another.

 

When there are visits between families, we should block the path of evil by preventing Ikhtilaat (inter-mixing between men and women). One of the indications that such inter-mixing is Haraam is the Qur’aanic verse (which means):

{And when you ask them (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts.}

[Qur’an 33:53]

Segregation of sexes

If we were to look for the evil results of inter-mixing during family visits, we would find many objectionable consequences, such as:

♦ In most cases the Hijab (Islamic attire) of women in these mixed gatherings is non-existent or improper, so a woman may display her beauty before someone in front of whom it is not permissible for her to uncover herself. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):

{And tell the believing women not to reveal their adornment.} [Qur’an 24:31].

It may be that a woman adorns herself for strangers in a mixed gathering in a way that she never does for her own husband.

 

♦ When men see women in one gathering, this is a cause of corruption in the religion and morals, and provokes desires in a forbidden manner.

 

♦ In a mixed gathering, the husband and wife may argue with or ignore one another in an alarming fashion. A man might look or wink at another’s wife, or he may laugh and joke with her, and she with him. After the couple returns home, the settling of scores would begin. The man might inquire: “Why did you laugh at what so-and-so. said, when he did not say anything funny?” The woman would counter: “And why did you wink at so-and-so?” The man would retort: “When he spoke, you understood him quickly, but you do not understand what I say at all!” Thus they would trade accusations and the matter could end in enmity and even divorce

 

Some men and women may regret their luck in marriage, when a man compares his wife to his friend’s wife, or a woman compares her husband to her friend’s husband. A man may say to himself: “So-and-so talks well and answers questions; she is well-educated and my wife is ignorant; she has no education” and a woman may say to herself: “So-and-so is so lucky! Her husband is smart and eloquent, and my husband is so boring and speaks without thinking!” This spoils the marital relationship or leads to bad treatment

 

Some people may show off to one another in mixed gatherings, by pretending to have what that they do not really possess. So a man may issue instructions to his wife in front of other men and pretend that he has a strong personality, but when he is alone with her at home he is as tame as a house cat. A woman may borrow gold and wear it so that the other people see that she has such and such. However, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:

“The one who shows off with something that does not belong to him is like one who wears a garment of falsehood.” (Reported by Al-Bukhaari, Fat-h Al-Baari, 9/317)

 

♦ Late-night mixed gatherings result in wasting time, sins of the tongue, and leaving small children at home alone (so that they do not disturb their parents’ evening with their cries!)

 

♦ Late-night mixed gatherings could develop to the extent of involving many kinds of major sins, such as drinking and gambling, especially among the so-called “upper classes”. One of the major sins that occur during these gatherings is mimicking the Kuffar (disbelievers) and imitating them in fashion trends and various customs. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:

“Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”

(Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/50; Saheeh al-Jaami?, 2828, 6025)

 

[Dangers in the home, by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid, page 8-11]

 

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  1. Umm Ahmad
    July 6, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    Reblogged this on The Life & Times of Umm Ahmad.

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