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Segregate men and women during family visits


 

People are naturally gregarious and sociable; they need friends, and friendships entail visiting one another.

 

When there are visits between families, we should block the path of evil by preventing Ikhtilaat (inter-mixing between men and women). One of the indications that such inter-mixing is Haraam is the Qur’aanic verse (which means):

{And when you ask them (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen; that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts.}

[Qur’an 33:53]

Segregation of sexes

If we were to look for the evil results of inter-mixing during family visits, we would find many objectionable consequences, such as:

♦ In most cases the Hijab (Islamic attire) of women in these mixed gatherings is non-existent or improper, so a woman may display her beauty before someone in front of whom it is not permissible for her to uncover herself. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means):

{And tell the believing women not to reveal their adornment.} [Qur’an 24:31].

It may be that a woman adorns herself for strangers in a mixed gathering in a way that she never does for her own husband.

 

♦ When men see women in one gathering, this is a cause of corruption in the religion and morals, and provokes desires in a forbidden manner.

 

♦ In a mixed gathering, the husband and wife may argue with or ignore one another in an alarming fashion. A man might look or wink at another’s wife, or he may laugh and joke with her, and she with him. After the couple returns home, the settling of scores would begin. The man might inquire: “Why did you laugh at what so-and-so. said, when he did not say anything funny?” The woman would counter: “And why did you wink at so-and-so?” The man would retort: “When he spoke, you understood him quickly, but you do not understand what I say at all!” Thus they would trade accusations and the matter could end in enmity and even divorce

 

Some men and women may regret their luck in marriage, when a man compares his wife to his friend’s wife, or a woman compares her husband to her friend’s husband. A man may say to himself: “So-and-so talks well and answers questions; she is well-educated and my wife is ignorant; she has no education” and a woman may say to herself: “So-and-so is so lucky! Her husband is smart and eloquent, and my husband is so boring and speaks without thinking!” This spoils the marital relationship or leads to bad treatment

 

Some people may show off to one another in mixed gatherings, by pretending to have what that they do not really possess. So a man may issue instructions to his wife in front of other men and pretend that he has a strong personality, but when he is alone with her at home he is as tame as a house cat. A woman may borrow gold and wear it so that the other people see that she has such and such. However, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:

“The one who shows off with something that does not belong to him is like one who wears a garment of falsehood.” (Reported by Al-Bukhaari, Fat-h Al-Baari, 9/317)

 

♦ Late-night mixed gatherings result in wasting time, sins of the tongue, and leaving small children at home alone (so that they do not disturb their parents’ evening with their cries!)

 

♦ Late-night mixed gatherings could develop to the extent of involving many kinds of major sins, such as drinking and gambling, especially among the so-called “upper classes”. One of the major sins that occur during these gatherings is mimicking the Kuffar (disbelievers) and imitating them in fashion trends and various customs. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:

“Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”

(Reported by Imaam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 2/50; Saheeh al-Jaami?, 2828, 6025)

 

[Dangers in the home, by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid, page 8-11]

 

Women’s attendance at ‘Eed prayers – Sh. Salih al-Munajjid


 

Hafsah [radiAllahu anha] said:

“We used to prevent prepubescent girls from attending ‘Eed prayers. Then a woman came and stayed at the fort of Banu Khalaf, and told us about her sister. Her sister’s husband had taken part in twelve campaigns with the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and [she said]: ‘My sister was with him on six of them. She said: “We used to treat the wounded and take care of the sick. My sister asked the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, whether there was anything wrong with her not going out [on ‘Eed] if she did not have a Jilbaab. He said: ‘Let her friend give her one of her Jilbaabs so that she may witness the blessings of ‘Eed and see the Muslims gathering.’”

 

When Um ‘Atiyah [radiAllahu anha] came, I asked her: ‘Did you hear the Prophet , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, [say this]?’ She said: ‘May my father be sacrificed for him’ – and she never mentioned him without saying ‘may my father be sacrificed for him’ – ‘I heard him saying that we should bring out the young girls and those who were secluded, or the young girls who were secluded, and the menstruating women, so that they could witness the blessings of ‘Eed and see the gathering of the believers, but those who were menstruating were to keep away from the prayer-place itself.”

(Reported by Al-Bukhaari, 324).

 

 

The ‘young girls’ (‘Awaatiq, sing. ‘Aatiq) are girls who have reached adolescence or are close to it, or have reached the age of marriage, or are very precious to their families, or who are spared from having to do humiliating work. It appears that they used to prevent these young girls from going out because of the corruption that arose after the first generation of Islaam; but the Companion did not approve of that and they thought that the ruling should remain in their time as it had been during the time of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

 

 

“Her Jilbaabs” – she should lend her some of her clothes that she does not need.

“Secluded” – they would have a curtain in the corner of the house behind which virgins would stay.

“Menstruating women” – Huyyad, sing. Haa’id – this may refer either to girls who have reached the age of puberty, or women who are having their period and are not Taahir (pure).

 

“Menstruating women should avoid the prayer-place itself” – Ibn al-Munayyir, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:

“The reason why they should avoid the prayer-place is that if they stand with the women who are praying even though they are not praying, it may appear that they have no respect for the prayer or are careless, so it better for them to avoid that.”

 

It was said that the reason why menstruating women should avoid the prayer-place is as a precaution, so that women will not come near men for no reason if they are not praying, or so that they will not offend others with their blood or their odor. The Hadeeth urges everyone to attend ‘Eed prayer, and to co-operate with one another in righteousness and piety. The menstruating woman should not forsake the remembrance of Allaah or places of goodness such as gatherings for the purpose of seeking knowledge and remembering Allaah – apart from mosques. The Hadeeth also indicates that women should not go out without a Jilbaab

 

This Hadeeth tells us that it is not proper for young women and women in seclusion to go out except for a valid reason. It states that it is preferable (Mustahabb) for a woman to wear a Jilbaab, and that it is permissible to lend and borrow clothes. It also indicates that ‘Eed prayer is obligatory (Waajib).

 

Ibn Abi Shaybah, may Allaah have mercy on him, also narrated that Ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with them both, used to take whoever he could of his household out to the ‘Eed prayers. The Hadeeth of Umm ‘Atiyah, may Allaah be pleased with her, also states the reason for the ruling, which is so that women may witness the blessings of ‘Eed, see the gathering of the Muslims, and share the blessings and purification of this day.

Muslim Women Praying

 

At-Tirmithi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his Sunan, after quoting the Hadeeth of Umm ‘Atiyah, may Allaah be pleased with her.

“Some of the scholars referred to this Hadeeth and allowed women to go out to the ‘Eed prayers, and some of them disliked this.

 

It was reported that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: ‘I do not like for women to go out to ‘Eed prayers nowadays. If a woman insists on going out, her husband should let her, if she goes out wearing her shabbiest clothes and not adorning herself. If she insists on adorning herself, then she should not go out. In this case the husband has the right to stop her from going out.

 

It was reported that ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said: ‘If the Prophet , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had seen what has happened to women, he would have stopped them from going to the mosques, just as the women of Bani Israa’eel were stopped.’

 

It was reported that Sufyaan al-Thawri, may Allaah have mercy on him, did not like women to go to the ‘Eed prayers in his day.”

(Reported by At-Tirmithi, 495).

 

 

Umm ‘Atiyah, may Allaah be pleased with her, gave her Fatwa in the Hadeeth mentioned above a while after the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had died, and it is not reported that any of the Companions disagreed with this. The words of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her: “If the Prophet , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had seen what has happened to women, he would have stopped them from going to the mosques”, do not contradict this (provided that women are meeting the Islaamic conditions attached to their going out)… It is better if permission is given only to those women who are not going to look at men or be looked at, whose attendance will not lead to anything undesirable and who are not going to rub shoulders with men on the street or in the mosque. (i.e., women whose going out will not cause Fitnah or temptation to her or to men).

 

Men should check on their womenfolk when they going out for the prayer to make sure that their Hijaab is complete, because they are the “shepherds” who are responsible for their “flocks”. Women should go out in shabby clothes, not adorned or wearing perfume. Menstruating women should not enter the mosque or prayer-place; they can wait in the car, for example, where they can hear the Khutbah.

 

[Eid Etiquette and Rulings, page 12-16 by Shaikh Salih al-Munajjid]

 

 

‘Taqabbal Allahu minna wa minkum‘- Eid greeting.

August 20, 2012 3 comments

 

Allah says in the Qur’aan:

“When you are greeted with a greeting, greet back with better than it or return it. Lo! Allah takes count of all things.” [Surah an-Nisa v. 86]

 

 

It is permissible for Muslims to greet each other on the day of Eid with specific greetings that have been reported from the sahabah (radiAllahu anhum ajmaeen) and from amongst the Salafus-saliheen.

 

 

Responding to a question in this regard, Shaykh ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullah) said:

“As for people greeting each other after the eid prayer by, ‘Taqabal Allahu minna wa minkum‘ (may Allah accept it from you and us) – it is reported that some of the shahabah practiced it, and the scholars permitted it. However, Ahmad said, ‘I do not initiate saying it to anyone; but if one says it to me, I answer him. This is because responding to a greeting is obligatory, but to initiate the greeting is not a required sunnah, neither is it prohibited: whoever does it it would have an example (from the salaf) and whoever does not would have a predecessor as well.”

[Majmoo al-Fataawaa (24/253)]

 

Al-Haafidh Ibn Hajr Al-Asqalani (rahimahullah) said:

“We have related in “Mahaamiliyaat” with a chain of narration that is hasan, from Jabyr ibn Nufayr who said: ‘When the companions of Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) met on the day of ‘eid, they would say to each other, ‘Taqabbal Allahu minna wa minkum (may Allah accept from you and us ).”

[Al Mahamiliyyat; hasan isnad; see Fath ul Bari 2:446]

 

 

Ibn Qudaamah mentioned in al-Mughnee (2/259) that Muhammad ibn Ziyad said: I was with Abu Umamah al Bahili (rahimahullah) and some other companions of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam).

When they returned from the eid, they said to each other, ‘Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum (May Allaah accept it from you and us).”

 

Muslim’s attitude towards Valentine’s Day/Kafir’s festival


He should not celebrate it, or join others in their celebrations of it, or attend their celebrations, because of the evidence from Quran and Sunnah which shows that it is forbidden to celebrate the festivals of the Kuffar.

 

Al-Hafidh adh-Dhahabi, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

“If the Christians have a festival and the Jews have a festival, which belongs only to them, then the Muslim should not join them in that, just as he does not join them in their religion or their direction of prayer.”

(Tashabbuh al-Khasees bi Ahl al-Khamees, al-Hikmah magazine, 4/193).

 

 

Because one of the basic principles of the pious predecessors was al-Walaa’ wa’l-Baraa’ (loyalty and friendship vs. disavowal and enmity), it is obligatory for everyone who says Laa ilaaha ill-Allah Muhammad Rasool Allah to follow this principle. So he should love the believers and he should hate the disbelievers, oppose them, and be different from them. He should know that that will bring immeasurable benefits, just as imitating them causes far greater harm. In addition to that, when the Muslims imitate them it makes the Kuffar happy and fills their hearts with joy, and it leads the Muslims to love the Kuffar in their hearts. If any Muslim girl who celebrates this holiday because she sees Margaret or Hilary or whoever doing so, this undoubtedly reflects the fact that she is following them and approves of their behavior. But Allah Says (what means):

{O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as Awliyaa’ (friends, protectors, helpers), they are but Awliyaa’ of each other. And if any amongst you takes them (as Awliyaa’), then surely, he is one of them. Verily, Allaah guides not those people who are the Thaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers and unjust).}

[Quran, 5:51]

 

One of the bad effects of imitating them is that this makes it look as if there are more of them, as if they have more supporters and followers. How can it be appropriate for a Muslim who recites in every Rak’ah: {Guide us to the Straight Way, The way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace, not (the way) of those who earned Your Anger, nor of those who went astray.} [Quran, 1:6-7], to ask Allah for guidance to the Straight Path of the believers and to keep him away from the path of those who have earned His anger and of those who went astray, then go and follow their path by choice and willingly?

 

Statistics indicate that Valentine’s Day is second only to Christmas in popularity. So it is clear that the Feast of Love is one of the festivals of the Christians and that it is second only to the festival of Christmas, the celebration of the birth of the Messiah. So it is not permissible for Muslims to join in the celebrations of this date, because we are commanded to differ from them in their religion, customs and other things that belong exclusively to them, as is stated in the Quran and Sunnah and scholarly consensus.

 

 

He should not help the Kuffar in their celebrations, because it is one of the rituals of Kufr, so helping them and approving of what they do is helping them to manifest Kufr and make it prevail, and approving of it. The Muslim’s religion does not allow him to approve of Kufr or help others to manifest it and make it prevail.

Hence Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, said:

“It is not permissible for the Muslims to imitate them in anything that is specifically part of their festivals, whether it is food, clothing, bathing, lighting fires, or changing a custom of daily life or worship… To sum up, they should not do any of the specific rituals of their (the Kuffar’s) festival on that day; rather the day of their festival should be just another ordinary day for the Muslim.”

(Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 25/329)

 

 

He should not help any Muslims who celebrate it. Rather it is obligatory to denounce them, because for the Muslims to celebrate the festivals of the Kuffar is an evil action which must be denounced. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah, (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

“Just as we should not imitate them in their festivals, so too we should not help a Muslim to do that; rather he should be told not to do that.”

(al-Iqtidaa’, 2/519-520)

 

Based on the statement of Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, it is not permissible for Muslim businessmen to deal in gifts for Valentine’s Day, whether they are particular kinds of clothes, red roses, or whatever. Similarly, it is not permissible for the one who is given a gift on this occasion to accept it, because by accepting it, he is showing approval of this holiday.

 

 

We should not accept congratulations on Valentine’s Day, because it is not a holiday or an ‘Eed for the Muslims. If the Muslim is congratulated on this occasion, he should not return the congratulations.

 

Ibn Qayyim, (may Allah have mercy on him), said:

“With regard to congratulating others with the congratulations used by the Kuffar on such occasions, it is Haram by scholarly consensus, such as congratulating them on the occasion of their festivals or fasts, wishing them a blessed festival, etc. Even if the one who says this is free of Kufr, it is still Haram. It is like congratulating someone for prostrating to the cross.

 

It is even worse with Allah and more hated by Him than congratulating someone for drinking alcohol, or committing murder or adultery, etc. Many of those who have no respect for religion do that, and they do not realize the abhorrence of their actions. Whoever congratulates a person for sin, innovation (bidah) or Kufr exposes himself to the hatred and wrath of Allah.”

(Ahkam Ahl ad-Dhimmah, 1/441-442)

 

 

We must explain the true nature of this holiday and other festivals of the Kuffar to those Muslims who have been deceived by them, and explain to them that it is essential for the Muslim to be distinguished by his religion and to protect his belief (‘Aqeedah) from anything that may damage it. This should be done out of sincerity towards the Ummah and in fulfillment of the command to enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil.

 

[From the book: Celebrating Valentines day, page 22-31, by Sh. Salih al-Munajjid]

 

 

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