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Beware of allowing non-Mahram (marriageable male) relatives to enter upon the wife in the home when the husband is absent


 

Some homes are not free of the presence of relatives of the husband who are not his wife’s Mahrams (unmarriageable male guardians). They may be living in his home with him due to particular circumstances, such as being students or single. These relatives enter the home without anyone raising an eyebrow, because they are known in the neighborhood as being relatives – brothers, nephews or uncles – of the head of the household. This relaxed attitude could generate a lot of evil which will earn the wrath of Allaah The Almighty if it is not controlled and brought within the limits set by Him.

 

The basic principle in this matter is the Hadeeth (narration) of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:

“Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar (Helpers) said: “O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think about the brother-in-law?” He, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The brother-in-law is death!”

(Reported by al-Bukhari, Fat-h al-Bari, 9/330)

 

An-Nawawi, (may Allaah have mercy on him), said:

“What is being referred to in this Hadeeth is the husband’s relatives, apart from his father and sons. These [his father and sons] are Mahrams for his wife and can be alone with her, therefore they are not described as ‘death’.

 

What is referred to here is his [the husband’s] brother, nephew, uncle and cousin, and others whom his wife would be permitted to marry if she were not already married.

 

Usually people take the matter lightly with regard to these relatives, so a man may be alone with his brother’s wife. Thus he is likened to death, indicating that he should be prevented from being alone with her even more than a stranger should.”

(Fath al-Bari, 9/331)

 

The phrase ‘the brother-in-law is death’ has a number of meanings, including:

  • The woman’s being alone with her brother-in-law may lead to spiritual destruction if she commits sin

 

  • It may lead to death if she commits the immoral act (fornication or adultery) and the punishment of stoning is carried out on her

 

  •  It may lead to the woman being destroyed if her husband leaves her because his jealousy leads him to divorce her

 

  • It may mean, beware of being alone with a non-Mahram woman just as you would beware of death

 

  • It may mean that being alone with a non-Mahram woman is as bad as death. It was also said that it means, let the brother-in-law die rather than be alone with a non-Mahram woman

 

All this stems from the concern of Islam to preserve families and households, and to prevent the tools of destruction from reaching them in the first place. Having learned what the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, what do you think now of those husbands who tell their wives: “If my brother comes and I am not here, let him into the sitting room”, or a wife who tells a guest: “Go into the sitting room”, when there is no one else present in the house?

 

To those who raise the issue of trust as an excuse, saying: “I trust my wife, and I trust my brother, or my cousin”, we say, your trust is all well and good, and you should not be suspicious when you have no cause to be, but you should know that the Hadeeth of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam:

“No man is alone with a non-Mahram woman, but the Shaytaan (Satan, the devil) is the third one present with them.”

(Reported by at-Tirmithi, 1171)

includes the most pious of people as well as the most corrupt. Islam does not exempt anyone from such rulings.

[Dangers in the home, by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid, page 5-7]

 

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Advises of the Prophet Muhammed [ﷺ]


 

Abu Dharr (Radia-Allahu ‘anhu) said: “O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)! Give me some advise! Give me some advise!”

He (ﷺ) said:

“I advise you to have Taqwa of Allaah (i.e. fear Allah), because it is the head of all matters.”

 

I said: “O Messenger of Allah! Give me some more advise.”
He (ﷺ) said:

“Recite the Qur’an and remember Allah; because it is a light for you in the earth and a treasure (store) for you in the heaven.”

 
I said: “O Messenger of Allah! Give me some more advise!”

He (ﷺ) said:

“Beware of laughing excessively; because it causes the death of the heart and it will take away the light from the face.”

Advise of Prophet Muhammed
I said: “O Messenger of Allaah! Give me some more advise!”

He (ﷺ) said:

Persevere upon Jihad; because it is monasticism of my nation.”

 
I said: “O Messenger of Allaah! Give me some more advise!”
He (ﷺ) said:

Love the poor people and sit with them.”

 

I said: “O Messenger of Allaah! Give me some more advise!”
He (ﷺ) said:

“Look at those who are below you and do not look at those who are above you, lest you contempt the blessings of Allaah that are bestowed upon you.”

 
I said: “O Messenger of Allaah! Give me some more advise!”
He (ﷺ) said:

“Say the truth even if it is bitter.”

 
[Reported by Ibn Hibban in his Saheeh and Al-Haakim. Al-Albaani graded it Saheeh Ligairihi, in Saheeh at-Targheeb wat Tarheeb # 2233]

Considering the World to be Worthless and Insignificant and Renouncing it- Sh. Husayn al-Awaayishah


 

Indeed the love of this world is a reason behind the hardening of the heart and it diverts one away from the way of Allâh. Verily abstention and renunciation of this world causes the heart to soften, increases its khushû’ and causes the eyes to weep tearfully.

 

So beware of becoming too much at ease with the world. You must renounce this world and consider it insignificant as much as you can in this way, and read books which urge to you do this (with regards to this subject refer to chapters 54, 55 of Riyâd us Salihîn)

Contemplate the guidance of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) when renouncing the world, ponder over his difficult and tough lifestyle with regards to his food, drink, clothing and furniture, etc.

It is reported by ‘Aisha (radiAllahu anha) that

“The family of Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) since their arrival in Madînah had not eaten wheat bread to their satisfaction for three consecutive nights until the Prophet saw passed away”

(Bukhârî, Muslim)

 

On the authority of Abû Hurayrah (radiAllahu anhu) who said

“The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) left the world and he had not eaten barley bread to his fill.”

(Bukhârî)

 

On the authority of ‘Aisha (radiAllahu anha) who said that

“The family of Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) had not eaten barely bread to their fill for two consecutive days until, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) passed away”.

[Muslim]

 

On the authority of ‘Urwah that ‘Aisha (radiAllahu anha) said to him:

“O my nephew. We used to see three moons in the space of two months and fire was not kindled in the house of Allâh’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam).”

 

So I (‘Urwah) asked, “What was your means of sustenance?” 

She replied “The two black things: dates and water. However Allâh’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) had some Ansar as neighbors who had animal, which gave milk, and they used to send some of the milk to Allâh’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) which he served us with”.

(Muslim, Bukhârî)

 

On the authority of Anas (radiAllahu anhu) who said

“I never knew the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) to have eaten ragheef (a flat loaf of bread) until he passed away”

(Bukhârî and Muslim)

 

On the authority of Samâk who aid that I heard al-Nu’man ibn Bashir say

“Do you not eat and drink as much as you wish? Whereas I have seen that your Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) could not even find a sufficient amount of an inferior quality of date to fill his stomach”

(Muslim)

 

On the authority of ‘Aisha (radiAllahu anha) who said

“The bed of the Messenger of Allâh (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) was made of animal skin filled with fibres”

(Muslim, Bukhârî)

 

Life of this world-islam

 

On the authority of Abû Burdah who said

“Aisha (radiAllahu anha) brought out to us a coarse upper garments and lower garment (izar), and she said that the Messenger of Allâh (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) had passed away in these two”.

(Muslim, Bukhârî)

 

Abdullah ibn ‘Umar (radiAllahu anhu) reported that:

“The Messenger of Allâh (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) took hold of my shoulder and said

“Be in this world as if you were a strange or a passer by”.

 

And Ibn ‘Umar used to say

“If you live until the evening then do not expect to live until the following morning. And if you live until the morning, then do not expect to see the evening. Take from your health for your sickness and from your life for your death”.

(Bukhârî)

 

So hasten, O brother and sister, towards living like the stranger or the wayfarer in your conduct, manners, behaviour, food, drink , housing and in anything else you are able to do so. We should observe and await the arrival of our original abode (paradise). Therefore we should not expect to live until morning if we are alive in the evening and likewise we should not expect to live until the evening if we are alive in the morning. Thus we should not put off repentance, returning back to Allâh and carrying out the rights which are upon us, or even performing a good deed.

 

We should be conducting ourselves (in our daily lives) as if we can see the scenes of the Day of Resurrection with our own eyes. We should take from our health for our illness and assign our health towards accomplishing acts of obedience as well as to make the most of our lives so that we can be saved from the terrors that follow death. Does the stranger who is away from his country, family, children, kinsfolk and relatives strive in order to build a castle in a foreign land?! Or does the wayfarer live in an isolated cul-de-sac?!

 

And you – May Allâh have mercy upon you – are a stranger in this world, far away from the home of Paradise, far away from your spouse and children there. And this is only if you are from the People of Paradise. Then how is it if you have no home in Paradise, nor a family nor children, but you have the punishment; an unseen evil waiting for you?!

 

So beware of leading a life of ease and comfort as Allâh’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said

“Beware of leading a life of ease and comfort for verily the real slaves of Allâh are not those who live in ease and comfort”

(Ahmad, Abû Nu’aym in al-Hilyah. Sh. Albani said its chain of narration is good in al-Mishkat)

 

So necessary for you is al-Badhâdhah, as the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) has said

” Al-Badhâdhah is from iman”.

(Ibn Mâjah, sahîh)

And al Badhâdhah means leading a simple life.

 

[Book: Weeping from the fear of Allah, page 30-31 by Sh. Husayn al-Awaayishah ]

 

Making Yourself Weep- Sh. Husayn al-Awaayishah


 

So know, may Allah have mercy on you, that making yourself weep earns less of a reward than actually weeping. However it is the way towards weeping, that is because the one who makes himself weep, is among those who strive hard and fight their souls, and take account of themselves, and endeavor to attain the pleasure of Allah, the Most High. Allah says:

“And those who strive hard in Us (our cause), We will surely guide them to our paths ” (29:69)

 

 

So whoever strives to make his soul weep, then Allah will guide this person to sincere weeping and give him success in achieving it.

 

 

On the authority of Anas (radiAllahu anhu) who related that he heard the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) say

“O people weep, for you cannot weep then make yourself weep. Indeed the inhabitants of the hellfire will weep until their tears pour down their cheeks as if they were streams until the tears are used up and then blood will pour down, and the eyes will be covered with ulcers”

[Declared hasan by Sh. al-Albani in Saheeh at-Targheeb wat-Tarheeb]

 

 

So reflect over the way the Messenger of Allah order us to weep or make ourselves weep. He (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) also explained the weeping of the inhabitants of hellfire, i.e., the tears will pour down their cheeks and faces as if streams until they tears are used up after which blood will pour forth and cause the eyes to be wounded with ulcers.

 

 

What else can you want after this, O slave of Allah, in order for you to weep! For I swear by Allah that it is a deep and serious admonition, this admonition is enough to cause you to make tawbah return to Allah and weep. For are you really safe from the scene (described above)?!

weeping out of fear of Allah

 

Are you guaranteed salvation and Paradise? So weep and shed tears now for which you will be rewarded in your (life of this) world before you weep blood for which you will not be rewarded in the Hereafter.

 

 

If you do not weep or even try to weep, then know that your iman is weak and the world has overtaken you, and you are in great danger. So flee to Allah, grab hold of life before death, rush to sincere repentance, true inaabah  (returning to Allah) and righteous actions.

 

 

On the authority of Ibn Abi Mulaykah who said “We were sitting with ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (radiAllahu anhu) on a rock. He said

Weep if you cannot weep then make yourself weep. If only you knew, you would pray until your back broke and weep until you lost your voice”.

(at-Targheeb wa at-Tarheeb: “al Haakim reported it in marfoo form and said “it is sahih upon their conditions”. Adh Dhahabee agress upon its authenticity and it is as he has said. It is reported by ibn al Mubarak in mawquf form in az-Zuhd)

 

 

In the story of the prisoners of Badr, Ibn Abbas (radiAllahu anhu) said “When the prisoners of Badr were chained, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) asked Abu Bakr and Umar (radiAllahu anhum) “What should be done with the prisoners?” Abu Bakr said “O Prophet of Allah! they are our relatives, I think that you should take ransom from them and it will be a power for us against the disbelievers. Maybe Allah will guide them to Islam.” The Messenger of Allah then asked, “What do you think O Ibn al Khattab?”. I (‘Umar) said “No I swear by Allah I do not agree with Abu Bakr’s view. I think that you should let us strike their necks. So let ‘Ali kill ‘Aqeel and let me kill such and sucha person (a relative of Umar). Verily they are the leaders and notables of disbelief”. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) approved of what Abu Bakr had said as opposed to what I had said. So the following day, when I came, I found the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) and Abu Bakr (radiAllahu anhu) sitting together and weeping. I said: “O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam)! Inform me of the thing which is making you and your companion weep? If I find that it is something that makes me weep then I will weep, and if it does not make me weep then I will make myself weep, due to the weeping of both of you.” So the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said “I weep over what your companions suggested with regard to taking the ransom for their punishment has been shown to me, from closer than this tree!”

 

 

Allah has revealed in the Qur’an:

“It is not for the Prophet that he should have prisoners of war (and free them with ransom) until he had made a great slaughter (among his enemies) in the land [a].

 

You desire the goods of this world (i.e., the money of ransom for freeing the captives but Allah desires for you the Hereafter. And Allah is All Mighty, All Wise. Were is not for a previous ordainment from Allah, a severe torment would have touched you for what you took. So enjoy the booty you have got from war, lawful and good, and be afraid of Allah. Certainly Allah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful” (8:67)

So Allah made the booty lawful for them” (Muslim)

 

 

Footnote:

[a] until he had made a great slaughter (among his enemies) in the land means, to increase in killing and destruction of enemy.  He said in an-Nihaayah “to massacre is to do this excessively and what is meant here is to be excessive in killing the disbelievers).

 

[Book: Weeping from the fear of Allah, page 26-28 by Sh. Husayn al-Awaayishah ]

 

Best and the worst row for men and women during prayer and the lessons derived from it- Imam an-Nawawi


 

Abu Hurairah [radiAllahu anhu] narrated that the Messenger of Allah [sallallahu alaihi wasallam] said:

“The best rows for men are the front ones, and the worst are the last ones. And the best rows for women are the last ones, and the worst are the front ones.”

[Sunan Abu Dawud, vol. 1, no. 678, sahih]

Capture

An-Nawawi said:

“As for the men’s rows, then it is according to the generality; so the best of them is always the first of them, and the worst of them is always the last of them.

 

As for the rows of the women, then the objective of the Hadith is that of the rows that the women pray in with the men, as for when they pray separately, not with the men, then just like in the case of the men, the best of their rows are the first of them, and the worst of them are the last of them. And the meaning of the worst of the rows in the case of the women and the men, is the least of them in reward and virtue.

 

And the last of the rows of the women when attending with the men, are only more virtuous, because of their distancing themselves from mixing with the men and their sight, and the heart being attached to them when seeing their movements and hearing their speech, and similar to that, and the first of their rows has been censured because of the opposite of that.

And Allah knows best….”

[As mentioned on page 502 of Sunan Abu Dawud, vol.1 published by Darussalam]

 

Benefits [by Dr-Iftakhar]:

1] When in gatherings, men should always occupy the front seat while women should be behind them, and not the vice versa which we see nowadays.

2] As mentioned by Imam an-Nawawi that the  reason for the womens best row being the last one is

because of their distancing themselves from mixing with the men and their sight, and the heart being attached to them when seeing their movements and hearing their speech, and similar to that, and the first of their rows has been censured because of the opposite of that.

This situation is during the prayer in the house of Allah when a slave tries to be the most obedient to His Lord [where a man or women cannot think of doing sin except who comes for that purpose]. Yet, the women are commanded to remain farthest from men, so how about in today’s time when we see women walking rubbing their shoulders with strangers at markets and other places?

 

Rights of Plants & Trees in Islam


 

Islam permits to benefit from the fruits of the trees but forbids cutting them or breaking their branches without a genuine reason. On the contrary, Islam commands to preserve trees and encourages any reproduction process or activities which help in growing more trees.

 

Allah’’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said,

“If the Hour [of the Last Day] took place while one of you is holding a palm-tree seedling [to plant in the dirt], then if he can plant it before standing up, he should do it.”

Musnad Ahmad, Hadith No. 12901.

Rights of Plants & Trees in Islam

Islam considers planting of useful plants and beneficial trees as charity for which a Muslim is rewarded.

Allah’’s Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said:

“Never a Muslim plants something or cultivates it, of which birds, human beings or animals eat, but a reward is given to him for this charity.”

Muslim, Hadith No. 2195.

 

Women’s attendance at ‘Eed prayers – Sh. Salih al-Munajjid


 

Hafsah [radiAllahu anha] said:

“We used to prevent prepubescent girls from attending ‘Eed prayers. Then a woman came and stayed at the fort of Banu Khalaf, and told us about her sister. Her sister’s husband had taken part in twelve campaigns with the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and [she said]: ‘My sister was with him on six of them. She said: “We used to treat the wounded and take care of the sick. My sister asked the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, whether there was anything wrong with her not going out [on ‘Eed] if she did not have a Jilbaab. He said: ‘Let her friend give her one of her Jilbaabs so that she may witness the blessings of ‘Eed and see the Muslims gathering.’”

 

When Um ‘Atiyah [radiAllahu anha] came, I asked her: ‘Did you hear the Prophet , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, [say this]?’ She said: ‘May my father be sacrificed for him’ – and she never mentioned him without saying ‘may my father be sacrificed for him’ – ‘I heard him saying that we should bring out the young girls and those who were secluded, or the young girls who were secluded, and the menstruating women, so that they could witness the blessings of ‘Eed and see the gathering of the believers, but those who were menstruating were to keep away from the prayer-place itself.”

(Reported by Al-Bukhaari, 324).

 

 

The ‘young girls’ (‘Awaatiq, sing. ‘Aatiq) are girls who have reached adolescence or are close to it, or have reached the age of marriage, or are very precious to their families, or who are spared from having to do humiliating work. It appears that they used to prevent these young girls from going out because of the corruption that arose after the first generation of Islaam; but the Companion did not approve of that and they thought that the ruling should remain in their time as it had been during the time of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

 

 

“Her Jilbaabs” – she should lend her some of her clothes that she does not need.

“Secluded” – they would have a curtain in the corner of the house behind which virgins would stay.

“Menstruating women” – Huyyad, sing. Haa’id – this may refer either to girls who have reached the age of puberty, or women who are having their period and are not Taahir (pure).

 

“Menstruating women should avoid the prayer-place itself” – Ibn al-Munayyir, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:

“The reason why they should avoid the prayer-place is that if they stand with the women who are praying even though they are not praying, it may appear that they have no respect for the prayer or are careless, so it better for them to avoid that.”

 

It was said that the reason why menstruating women should avoid the prayer-place is as a precaution, so that women will not come near men for no reason if they are not praying, or so that they will not offend others with their blood or their odor. The Hadeeth urges everyone to attend ‘Eed prayer, and to co-operate with one another in righteousness and piety. The menstruating woman should not forsake the remembrance of Allaah or places of goodness such as gatherings for the purpose of seeking knowledge and remembering Allaah – apart from mosques. The Hadeeth also indicates that women should not go out without a Jilbaab

 

This Hadeeth tells us that it is not proper for young women and women in seclusion to go out except for a valid reason. It states that it is preferable (Mustahabb) for a woman to wear a Jilbaab, and that it is permissible to lend and borrow clothes. It also indicates that ‘Eed prayer is obligatory (Waajib).

 

Ibn Abi Shaybah, may Allaah have mercy on him, also narrated that Ibn ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with them both, used to take whoever he could of his household out to the ‘Eed prayers. The Hadeeth of Umm ‘Atiyah, may Allaah be pleased with her, also states the reason for the ruling, which is so that women may witness the blessings of ‘Eed, see the gathering of the Muslims, and share the blessings and purification of this day.

Muslim Women Praying

 

At-Tirmithi, may Allaah have mercy on him, said in his Sunan, after quoting the Hadeeth of Umm ‘Atiyah, may Allaah be pleased with her.

“Some of the scholars referred to this Hadeeth and allowed women to go out to the ‘Eed prayers, and some of them disliked this.

 

It was reported that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak, may Allaah have mercy on him, said: ‘I do not like for women to go out to ‘Eed prayers nowadays. If a woman insists on going out, her husband should let her, if she goes out wearing her shabbiest clothes and not adorning herself. If she insists on adorning herself, then she should not go out. In this case the husband has the right to stop her from going out.

 

It was reported that ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, said: ‘If the Prophet , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had seen what has happened to women, he would have stopped them from going to the mosques, just as the women of Bani Israa’eel were stopped.’

 

It was reported that Sufyaan al-Thawri, may Allaah have mercy on him, did not like women to go to the ‘Eed prayers in his day.”

(Reported by At-Tirmithi, 495).

 

 

Umm ‘Atiyah, may Allaah be pleased with her, gave her Fatwa in the Hadeeth mentioned above a while after the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had died, and it is not reported that any of the Companions disagreed with this. The words of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her: “If the Prophet , sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, had seen what has happened to women, he would have stopped them from going to the mosques”, do not contradict this (provided that women are meeting the Islaamic conditions attached to their going out)… It is better if permission is given only to those women who are not going to look at men or be looked at, whose attendance will not lead to anything undesirable and who are not going to rub shoulders with men on the street or in the mosque. (i.e., women whose going out will not cause Fitnah or temptation to her or to men).

 

Men should check on their womenfolk when they going out for the prayer to make sure that their Hijaab is complete, because they are the “shepherds” who are responsible for their “flocks”. Women should go out in shabby clothes, not adorned or wearing perfume. Menstruating women should not enter the mosque or prayer-place; they can wait in the car, for example, where they can hear the Khutbah.

 

[Eid Etiquette and Rulings, page 12-16 by Shaikh Salih al-Munajjid]

 

 

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